Monday 4 July 2011

Proud of WHAT?

Okay... so PRIDE week has come and gone again. We are all still here. 
No lighting bolts from above have vanquished these 'sinners' (who isn't?) for their outlandish public displays. No Armies of NAZIs have stormed the streets to oppress them. No lynchings. No beating. No pillars of salt.
Nothing has happened BUT the hype.
So, what is the big deal?
Well there isn't one really.
For those of you not familiar with PRIDE events, they are supposed to be some sort of demonstration in favour of 'Gay rights'. A parade to prove Gay and Lesbian citizens are just a fun loving bunch that mean no harm and just want to live the 'lifestyle' they have chosen without being the target of hate and bigotry. In principle, I am behind it 100%. That is not to say 'I approve' of this lifestyle: I do not. But, I would not dream of denying it to those who feel compelled to live that way. Nor would I ever condone the persecution of gays and lesbians. But that is in PRINCIPLE. In practice, I really don't see what the PRIDE events have to be proud of.
These are not marches of serious minded homosexuals protesting oppression. There are placards, sure. Many carried by completely naked adults..or worse: People dressed up in sexual / S&M style costumes and who expose themselves to other revellers.
Having witness two such events recently, I would say they seem like pro-promiscuity events and more of a carnival than any sort of serious political statement. Naked people dancing, drinking, smoking pot, 'making out', and waving their naughty bits at the police. Like Carnival in Brazil or Mardi Gras in New Orleans, these are ADULT events designed for the sensual pleasures of the party goers.
Okay. Big deal you say. Sure. Don't like – don't look. Find it offensive or outrageous don't attend.
Fair enough. That has long been my strategy. Let them have their fun, but don't include me!
So what's my beef? (pun intended)
Well, I just want to know what the HELL this has to do with 'rights'?
If anything the anti-gay attitude such displays engender FAR outweigh the penis waving hijinks. Sure they may be having fun poking fun, but do they expect the traditional and conservative minds they are laughing AT to chuckle too? A sober expression of gay rights and a reminder of the persecution these people have faced in the past (in the name of race, religion, politics etc) have endured ; A march for tolerance seems to make more sense to me.
Martin Luther King Jr. Did not march naked through Birmingham. The suffragists did not go on 'slut walks'. Can you imagine the backlash had they done so?
Then there is the whole aspect of 'pride'.
Proud of what?
There is two schools of thought on the reality of homosexuality. One says it is a choice, a preference that is exercised as a lifestyle of exclusive homosexuality or of ambiguity (bisexual). The other, the favourite of evolutionary biologists, is that homosexual behaviour is inborn: ie a defect of the sexual impulse.
A choice can change. People who choose one thing, may one day choose another. But people can be proud of a choice. They choose to love a person, despite the moral and social consequences. This love justifies this choice – a tough one – and they are proud of that decision. Those lofty ideals are of the 'gay day' events of decades past. Proud enough for a parade? Sure why not!?
But how does the nudity, sexual excess, and promiscuity fit in to this scenario? It doesn't.
Today's PRIDE events are a different type of beast altogether.
My point here is that to be proud of a choice (to love) is one thing, to be proud of your sexual impulses is just plain screwed up. Should I be 'proud' I am 'white'? or Tall? Should I be proud I am male? Should I be proud I can become aroused by looking at women? WHY? I just AM/DO these things. I had no choice - I was born that way.
If I should be proud, does that mean blacks, women, and impotent people should be ashamed they are not? Of course not. Should we ALL be proud? WHY? Again we just ARE these things. We live with them and perhaps even embrace them...but pride?
I DID have a choice to fall in love and be devoted to my wife and partner in life, but that does not mean we should dance naked in the streets waving our genitalia at police and passers by, or demonstrate our intimate acts. Such a display would be rightly seen as 'gross' and 'nasty'.
What is there to be proud about in that of 'nasty'? Nothing I can see.
Pride – the healthy SANE type – should be the result of achievements and well made choices. It should be tempered with humility.
The choice to portray everyone of the homosexual inclination  like insatiable exhibitionist perverts, and anyone who does not approve/agree a (straight) homophobes or (gay/lesbian)  'uncle Toms', is certainly NOT one I would be proud of. It is a position of Nero-like intolerance and hypocrisy.
Suggestions? Yes I do.
PRIDE should be a family friendly parade/march that culminates in some act of generosity and gratitude for the continued tolerance of the larger community and exposure of any continuing prejudice.
'Thanks Toronto, here is a new playground, clinic, or park DONATED by the gay / lesbian community' or 'Free food for the homeless from the lesbian and gay community' sure beats the SHIT out of 'look at my dick, I am gay!' or 'see! this is how we F**K!' displays replete with penis shaped water guns.
The positive display results in a positive reaction. The political display results in a political reaction. The VULGAR and crass display results in disdain and avoidance; and very possibly backlash.
It plays into the imagery that bigots use to portray homosexuals.
So what happened?
Where are today's Harvey Milk style marches?
Where are the real issues in the modern PRIDE parade?
Today's argument from the homosexual lobby is that people are BORN gay – the defect argument. Homosexuals cannot help but act like they do, and that extends to the wild and vulgar behaviour at these Carnival like events, it is posited.
Homosexuals, they assert, have the 'right' to be promiscuous, outrageous, and 'in your face'. Any attempt to AVOID this outburst – as Toronto Mayor Rob Ford found out – results in a media frenzy and labels of 'homophobia'.
 Ford is the first mayor of Toronto since 1994 who has dared NOT attend the event. His excuse is that he spends Canada Day weekend at the cottage (same weekend) and has done so for 30 years. He also commented that he will only attend parades his wife, children, and grandchildren would accompany him to – thus NOT the X-rated PRIDE revelry. For this he is labelled a homophobe?
I am not gay, and could never imagine being so..for many reasons.  I also could not imagine the whispers, lies, exclusion, prejudice, and sheer bigotry they are treated to. I would and have defended their rights to choice and freedom. That extends to how they wish to live their lives. I have openly gay friends and in laws that I happily break bread with. Some of them have a LOT to be proud of in their lives.
But I see/saw very little to be proud of at recent PRIDE events in Toronto.
I see a lobby being USED to promote a diagnosis / pathology style explanation for their choices, I see adults behaving like spoiled children, I see people acting out in acts sexual exhibitionism and promiscuity, I see a source for great social concern.
Above all I see a wasted opportunity for real change and progress in gay / lesbian rights, and that is a real SHAME.

CrusadeRex
July 2011

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